The Akashic Field is replete with sexual energy.  Of course it is one of our primary drivers.  We would not be here without it.  Even though a very low proportion of the population is conceived via artificial means, by and large the survival of our species (and generally all other animal species) depends on sex drive.  No wonder it is so central.

We as individuals don’t need sex to survive.  In fact, there are many who go entirely without sex during large portions of their lives.  It’s a respectable choice.  However, what a waste.  It’s such a wonderful positive energy.

Middle Class Morality points us towards a path where our sex lives and the entire focus of our sexual energy resides in a single person: our partner.  We’ve already covered this in the “Marriage, the Secret Files” post.  Not only does this create enormous pressures and misunderstandings, this also makes us miss opportunities to enhance our lives.

A few years ago at a spiritual retreat where we got to talk a whole lot about sex, a classmate suggested that her sex life had been mostly defined by being a “good sexual worker”.  What she meant was not that she had prostituted herself but rather that in her relationships, her main goal was to satisfy her partner.  In a way, she was fulfilling the demands of traditional marriage.  But that left her restless, mostly disconnected.  She found herself fantasizing a whole lot during sex.  This resonated quite a bit with me.

As I’ve mentioned in other posts, I have struggled with self esteem a whole lot in my life.  Hasn’t been different in bed.  My foolish belief was that in order to be loved and appreciated by my partner, I needed to be the best possible sex worker I could be.  The objective of good sex would be to leave my partner absolutely and irrefutably satisfied.  Muti-orgasmic, howling, shivering.  Boy, what a good job.

I remember a movie a saw during my teenage porn aficionado years, “In Praise of Older Women”.  Older women have always carried a fascination for me, but that’s a story for another day.  The one line that I remember most was by one of the beautiful “mature” women (probably in her 30s or 40s) telling her young lover that in sex, each one is responsible for his/her own orgasm.  Hmm, a little different from traditional lore.  Not quite Middle Class Morality.  Certainly quite different than what I lived for years.

A very good friend of mine whom I’ve loved dearly confronted me with the idea that being a good sex worker is not necessarily effective or enlightening, or maybe even exciting or intimate.  Her point was, men and women feed off of each other’s desire.  This had never dawned on me.  What a discovery: it is exciting for my partner to see me excited and expressing my own sexuality.

For the past several years, I have been focusing on my own desire and sexual energy.  Today, I revel in sexual tension, sexual energy.  Clearly, I believe it’s “up there” in the Akashic Field and I can tune into it anytime I want.  I can also trigger it by very real down-to-earth interactions, which in a way can be interpreted as instantaneous uploading and downloading through the Akashic Field.

I used to think that my sexual energy, my desire, was dirty and needed to be hidden.  The last thing I wanted a “nice girl” to know was that I had “dirty thoughts” about her.  Today, I have come to grips with the fact that I am a very sexual man, I tune into sexual energy consciously and unconsciously, I let it travel through me, I play with it, I enhance it and I very much can decide what to do with it.  It is mine.  It is a gift of the universe.  And it is something that can arise independently from any one particular person or circumstance.  And it actually doesn’t even have to do with the sex act since sex can be filled with sexual energy just like it can be totally devoid of it.  As an old college professor of mine once said, there is a huge difference between sexual connection and genital gymnastics.

So, what is sexual energy to me?  How do I access it?  Where does it come from?

We are culturally conditioned to believe that men are turned on by visual queues while women are turned on by stories.  There may be some truth in this but I believe men and women have the capacity to tune into sexual energy from many different sources and triggers.  I clearly get aroused by very specific imagery.  More on that at another time… maybe.  But what I’ve come to learn and experience is that there is no aphrodisiac like connection, intimacy.

I feel sexual energy in my body.  It is a very specific set of phenomena, not always the same, but always noticeable.  Once it’s triggered, it can linger for hours or days.  I used to think that the only two possible outcomes of sexual energy were either satisfaction or frustration.  This actually tainted quite a few interactions with women: once sexual energy was triggered, we either wound up in bed or we parted not quite so friends.  What a waste.  As many other things in life, the beauty of sexual energy is being able to enjoy it in the moment as it happens, in the now.  Doesn’t matter how it evolves.  It will take its course.  And I know that physically there are so many ways of reaching satisfaction that I can feel independent of any one of them.  Once again, going back to earlier posts, I can take responsibility for my own sexuality, making decisions as a powerful adult, painting the canvass of life in blue or red.

Being sexual with a partner involves free will.  Even in marriage, we should never expect that we will engage in sex by default.  And that is also a key element of connection and intimacy.  Sex with a partner is being a co-creator of our mutual experience.  There is no more delicious feeling than this.  Starting to understand that there’s the possibility of connecting, locking eyes, smiling, gazing at each other’s lips, hearing each other’s voice utter words of love with profound tones of surrender, lightly touching, slowly, from the periphery inwards, embracing, kissing…  The rest I will leave up to your imagination, your taste, your repertoire.

The beauty of sexual energy is that it happens, it’s created, along the way.  So it can actually happen just by locking eyes, or by gazing, or by hearing each other’s voice.  So it can happen with anyone with whom we connect at some intimate level.  It’s foolish to believe that it can only happen with one person in one circumstance.  It misses so much of what is possible to enjoy in our daily lives.  And just because it happens doesn’t mean that the only possible outcome is winding up in bed, or failing in frustration.  Life is full of possibilities for which we have the ability to co-create.

We all crave connection.  We are all sexual beings.  Yet we are culturally conditioned to hide our sexuality in the deepest recesses of our private closets.  Let’s just be out there and enjoy who we are, at every moment, while we remain powerful and independent in our decisions, choosing our words and actions wisely at every moment.